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Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Confidence is a crucial aspect of our lives, affecting not just our personal relationships but also our careers and overall happiness. Confidence refers to a belief in our abilities and a positive self-image, and it enables us to approach life with courage and optimism. In this article, we’ll explore the significance of confidence, the barriers that can prevent us from gaining confidence, and practical strategies for building and maintaining self-assurance.

Why Confidence is Important:

Confidence plays a crucial role in determining our success and happiness in life. When we are confident, we are more likely to:

• Take risks and pursue new opportunities
• Communicate effectively and assertively
• Handle challenges and setbacks with resilience
• Maintain positive relationships with others

Confidence also provides numerous benefits, including improved relationships, greater success in personal and professional endeavors, and a more positive outlook on life. Confidence also enables us to approach life with courage and optimism, helping us to tackle challenges and achieve our goals.

However, it can be a process to become confident, and we’re like to hit some barriers, including;

• Negative self-talk and self-doubt
• Fear of failure or rejection
• Comparison to others
• Lack of support or encouragement from others

To overcome these barriers, it’s important to develop a growth mindset, engage in positive self-talk, seek out supportive relationships, and focus on your own journey and progress.

It’s like they say; anything that is worth it usually takes more time, effort, and an obstacle to overcome. But nothing that we can’t handle! We’re tough and motivated people, and the whole point of life is to not only enjoy it but enjoy ourselves. And confidence can give us a big boost on this! So let’s dive into the goodies: how to become confident!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Strategies for Building Confidence Building confidence takes time and effort, but the rewards are well worth it!

Strategies for Confidence:

Surround yourself with positive and supportive people who encourage and believe in you: Your people are either going to build you up or knock you down; sometimes, we don’t even notice. Help you feel on top of the world and encourage you, or constrict you and limit your capabilities to mirror only what they think of themselves. Either way, the choice is yours on who and what kind of people to surround yourself with.

Stop caring what others think of you: This world is already full of judgy people (who are merely deflecting their own issues,) and technology only makes it easier for those people to hide without having to own up to what they say in person. Believe only those who have your best interest in mind. My mother always told me,

“if people are mistreating you and saying terrible things to/about you then that means they feel bad about themselves.”

She told me this in middle school, which was no doubt the hardest years transitioning from a pre-teen into a teenager. Questioning every social situation and who to actually call your friend. To this day, I have always thought about her words and am no longer phased by the negativity of others.

Take risks and pursue new opportunities:

Learn to value yourself: That’s right, who cares what people think of me? After all, I have all these amazing qualities that make me unique and valuable in this world. You, too, should be thinking of yourself the same way all of the time, even in bad times. When you learn to appreciate yourself and your self-worth, your world turns upside down for the better. Know that you are worthy; why wouldn’t you be? If you can think of reasons why you wouldn’t be, then write down all of those ideas on a list, then burn it. After you do that, you should take out another piece of paper and write down all your positive qualities, then hang it on your fridge or your mirror in the bathroom and remind yourself every day how great you are. Let go of the bad. Bring in the good. Speaking of bringing in the good, let’s move on to the next strategy.

Set achievable goals and celebrate your accomplishments:

You needn’t prove yourself to anybody but yourself, which is why it’s so great to get real with what you want to accomplish in life and set some goals and create a plan to implement the practices into your life. Have you read Atomic Habits? it’s ridiculously good and speaks about the importance of consistently doing small habits to help ourselves. But this will inspire you to get a list going and start working on something new. This brings us to the next point, when we decide to work towards something, we’re bound to hit some obstacles along the way.

Embrace challenges and failures as opportunities for growth and learning:

Challenges and failures come up often when we are trying to work through things, it’s how we grow and learn. So when it comes to these opportunities for growth, see it as the step forward to not only being a part of the process and natural, but that you’re well on your way. When we try and try again and sometimes get stuck, we stop, slow down, and relax. This brings us to our next strategy..

Practice self-care and focus on your physical, emotional, and mental well-being:

If we don’t honor ourselves and give ourselves what we need while moving through life, we’ll be neglecting ourselves. We can’t do it all. Life is a balance of everything, and we have to take care of ourselves because that’s going to determine how far and how much we can do outside of us. Plus, a little rest never hurts a soul. Taking a step back and giving yourself medicine is your own right.

Forgive yourself and others: Did you do something that you still regret? Did somebody else ruin your life? You’ll never be comfortable with yourself if you cannot forgive yourself and others and move on from all the errors. The same goes for blaming others, which is always easier than blaming yourself. The past is the past, don’t bring it into the present and ruin the moment. The faster you can move on from that, the sooner you can be happy with yourself and what is going on around you. When you forgive yourself and others, you can begin to spend more time concentrating on the good stuff about yourself and improving if need be.

Believe in yourself: Seriously, have faith in yourself and believe you can achieve anything and everything. If you don’t believe in yourself, then how will anybody else? People can see right through you; they can tell who is confident and who is not. Without having faith that you can do it, you are automatically setting yourself up for failure. Don’t be one of those people. Get out there, take risks, and stand up for yourself. Whatever it is, just do it. Even if you fail, at least you have gained the confidence that you were able to put yourself through something that allowed you to persevere emotionally (and perhaps physically). You’ll come out a better and stronger person on the other side.

“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson

Fake it ’til you are it: This is a quote that I heard from a Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy, Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are. It resonated with me so much, primarily because I’ve done this myself. I was not born with my confidence, and people are always pointing out this fantastic quality that I have. However, it’s an attribute that I have gained over the years. Mainly by faking it in the beginning. I always wanted to be confident, primarily because so few women were around me, and I looked up to women who were. I did not want to be a woman in today’s world without being confident. I knew I wouldn’t thrive like I could without it. Therefore, in the beginning, and during my unfortunate times, I would just fake my confidence, over time it worked. Try it, give it a chance, you deserve that much.

There is a difference between being confident and being pretentious. I genuinely hope you can gain this vital quality that seems so essential but lacking in our society. You are an incredible person, why shouldn’t you think of yourself in that way?

Confidence is an essential aspect of our lives, and it can be cultivated and strengthened through effort and determination. By focusing on self-care, surrounding ourselves with supportive people, setting achievable goals, and embracing challenges, we can build and maintain confidence and live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Further Reading:

Here are three highly recommended books that provide effective strategies for building confidence:

1. “The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life” by Brian Tracy

In this book, Brian Tracy offers a comprehensive guide to building self-confidence, covering topics such as overcoming fear and self-doubt, developing a positive self-image, and setting and achieving personal and professional goals. Tracy provides practical, actionable strategies for building confidence and self-assurance, making this an essential resource for anyone looking to boost their self-esteem.

2. “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg

In this best-selling book, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg examines the challenges facing women in the workplace and provides strategies for overcoming them. Sandberg discusses the importance of confidence in achieving success, and provides tips for developing self-assurance, including setting ambitious goals, speaking up, and networking.

3. “The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

In this book, journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman examine the science behind confidence and the ways in which it affects women in the workplace. They provide practical strategies for building self-confidence, including how to tackle impostor syndrome, overcome self-doubt, and assert oneself in professional situations. This book is an essential resource for women looking to boost their confidence and succeed in their careers.