What Is Your Attachment Style? 🌉
A free reflection on how you handle closeness: 16 everyday moments, about four minutes.
Think of the people closest to you, or of one relationship in particular. Your answers can look different for a partner and for a friend, and that is information too.
Each question is a different small moment (a message left unanswered, a rough day, someone asking how you feel about them). You answer by picking the impulse that arrives first, or the reaction that sounds most like you. Skip any you're unsure about.
You'll see which way your answers lean on two scales, worry about being left and pulling back from closeness, and the region that is closest to you, plus one small practice you can try today. The questions are original and have not been scientifically validated. This is a reflection, not a diagnosis.
Sixteen everyday moments, each one different. See where you land on worry and on closeness, not just a label.
Questions people ask
What is an attachment style?
It is a way of describing how a person tends to feel and act in close relationships: how much they worry about being left or not mattering (anxiety), and how much they pull away from closeness or from depending on others (avoidance). Researchers who study adults usually treat these as two scales that each run from low to high, and the four familiar styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, fearful-avoidant) as regions on that map rather than separate boxes.
Is this quiz scientifically validated?
No. The 16 questions are original and were written for this page. They have not been tested for reliability or validity, and the cut-points we use to describe your answers are design choices, not norms. Treat it as a structured reflection, not a measurement. Research tools for adult attachment exist, but they are mostly used in studies and with clinicians, and this is not one of them.
How long does it take, and do I have to give my email?
About four minutes: 16 questions, each a different moment, answered with a quick gut pick or a short scenario, and a skip option on every one. You see your result straight away. Saving it by email is optional and is offered after the result, not before.
What if I skip questions, or my scores land in the middle?
A skipped question counts for nothing, in either direction. If too many are skipped for either scale, the result says there is not enough to go on. If a score lands close to the middle, the result still names the region you lean toward and the one you are also near, and says plainly that it is a close call. It does not pretend a close score is a clear one.
Can I be secure with some people and not with others?
Yes. Research on adults finds that how people feel and act in close relationships is partly specific to the relationship, so the same person can feel steadier with a friend than with a partner. Think of the people closest to you, or of one relationship, and notice if your answers would change for someone else.
Can my attachment style change?
Patterns in adult relationships can shift with experience, with who you are close to, and with how safe a particular relationship feels. A result describes how your answers read today, not a permanent label. If a relationship feels unsafe, or this is causing you real distress, a licensed therapist is the right kind of help. This page is not a substitute.
Is fearful-avoidant the same as disorganized attachment?
No. "Disorganized" is a term from research on infants and caregivers, measured in a different way. "Fearful-avoidant" is used for adults and describes a combination of high worry and high discomfort with closeness. Researchers are still working out how the two relate, and people sometimes use the words as if they meant the same thing. This quiz makes no claim about your childhood.